Questions To Ask A Potential Candidate At A Play Party

For some, the anxiety around going to a play party can come from the questions circling around in your brain. How do people go into having sex? Is it one big orgy? Am I going to perform the same while people watch me? Will I be wet enough? Will my dick stay hard? What do I even say? There are TONS of questions that circle through brains before the arrival of a big sex party. Even the most confident people are curious about something so let's get into it.

First off…What is a “play party”?

A play party is a private social event with like minded people where the guests engage in BDSM and sexually arousing activities. These types of parties are typically hosted by sex positive people in an air bnb, someone’s personal home, or a private event space that is suitable for these types of events. Similar to non play parties, there is food, beverages, music and people come dressed in regular clothing. A changing area is typically provided for you to get a little more sexy or dressed completely down. Most parties have a clothing optional dress code which means you could walk by and see someone completely naked or dressed in lingerie/bedroom attire. Dress in whatever way makes YOU comfortable which is why behind the word clothing comes the word “optional”. Unless there is a strict dress code that was established prior to you coming, please do not ever feel forced to undress and even if it is a strict dress code, always remember you can leave anywhere you do not feel comfortable. Once you go beyond the entry doors, it’s not immediately taboo and people fucking every where like most people may think unless you got to the party super late and everyone got warmed up without you. Some hosts will not allow entry after a certain time to avoid this exact situation. So when you have made your arrival how exactly do you go about finding a good candidate?

Have A Checklist

Okay don’t walk in anyone’s establishment with an actual piece of paper honey that is tacky. Have a mental checklist.

• What do you want this person to ideally look like?

• If you’re single, are you willing to join a couple? Or do you just want you and one other person?

• If you’re a couple or throuple, are you okay with your partner having sex with other people?

• Are you fluid in your sexuality?

• What body type are you looking for?

• What are you looking to get out of this event?

• Are you here to just watch?

• Are you here to participate?

Think about the things that turn you on. Don’t just have sex with anyone just because it’s a play party. You can be a voyeur and just watch the environment if you don’t find a potential candidate. And if you don’t do it in a creepy manner you can even play with yourself while watching. The goal is to enjoy yourself and if you don’t find someone you’re attracted enough to then don’t have sex with someone just to say you participated in a sex party. Arrive at the party early so that you can scope everyone that comes in and mingle. Sip on a drink, participate in the games or activities the host has provided, and socialize. If someone catches your eye, make your way over to have some dialogue. Here are some questions to help drive the conversation when you have found a potential new sex partner at a play party.

What The F**k Do I Say?

1. Start With A Greeting

I know, this isn’t a question but you don’t want to just walk up to someone and start asking questions. One, it comes off as weird. Two, it’s not good etiquette. You know that feeling you get when you receive those DM’s where someone just starts a conversation or sends an unwanted picture? That’s the equivalent to not starting off with a proper greeting. Play party or not you still use common decency and manners.

Have you ever been to one of (host’s name) parties before?

Once they tell you yes or no, they may continue to talk about their previous experience or other parties on the scene. You can learn a lot by just listening which will also prompt other questions.

2. What is your favorite kink?

Gradually you have gone from a formal introduction to getting into the kinky conversation without overstepping boundaries or seeming too aggressive. If they don’t know of any and they’re new to some you can name off some of your kinks, or different ones from them to choose from. Depending on how the vibe is, you can ask for their permission to explore and try different things to their body. If they allow you, make sure you show them a good time and show their temple some respect. Let them know everything you are doing, ask for permission along the way, and don’t treat their body like a throw away.

3. Invite them to play one of the games at the party

At my parties, I have interactive games for us to play together but I also leave games scattered throughout the room for guests to play on their own. Most kinky games prompt some sort of sexual act and if they’ve come this far with you, they may have some interest. It doesn’t mean you have the greenlight, nothing is official until it is verbalized. Once you all get some sexually arousing prompt cards, you’ve already gone half way there and for everyone’s sake the consent card should come shortly after.

4. What are your sexual fantasies?

I’m sure you figure out by now that the bulk of understanding is to listen to what the other person's interests are. When someone tells you what they want, listen. They’re giving you a blueprint on how to please them and you just need to execute after you are granted permission. Whether you do it well or not is all upon you if given the opportunity but adhere to their desires and fantasies.

5. What are some things that you don’t like when having sex?

If you have found a potential candidate you want to know what they don’t like so you don’t cross their boundaries. You won’t get every single detail in one night but you can build yourself a tiny roadmap to at least make sure you’re headed in the right direction. Personally, I do NOT like anal sex under any circumstance! It’s painful and feels violating, so I would let someone who is seeking interest in me, that is not the type of play that we will get into.

Truthfully, there is no exact set of questions! Just go with the flow. The questions above however could be a good start. You might even want to ask yourself some of these questions just to further explore what you like and know how to answer if you were asked.

Tips For Safe And Engaging Play

1. Always Make Sure You Have Protection

If you and your partner come to the party together and have unprotected sex, that is your prerogative and there’s no judgment there, but when you bring a new body chemistry into the picture it is ALWAYS smart to make sure you use condoms. Typically in a play setting there are condoms and lube provided but in the event there are none provided, always bring your own. There is a high chance that you will either join a couple, have a third join you if you are a couple, or have a multiple party encounter (orgy). For those couples and throuples who invite someone in, sure, continue your ritual of unprotected sex if that is what you commonly do, but once those body parts insert or bump against others there needs to be a barrier of protection always. Having fun and being safe can go hand in hand.

2. Never act like this is a need

We all know why we come to parties as such but it doesn’t always mean that you’re gonna get some action. If you are the person who walks around the party trying to hop down on everything walking, inserting yourself in spaces where you may not be wanted, touching and groping on people without permission and other behaviors as such, makes you come off as desperate and can make people very uncomfortable. When you find someone or a couple that you naturally attract with, you have already planted a seed in good soil. Now just be yourself and let the plant manifest itself. If things progress into a sexual nature then it will happen organically and it won’t be forced. People tend to want to give you things when it doesn’t appear that you “need it” or are desperate. Think about it, the aura of someone who wants you but they’re not in desperate need of you draws in the masses. If you want someone to need you then it may benefit you to find someone who fits that role and bring them into the space, but don’t come into an environment as such looking desperate.

3. Perform While Sober

Okay if you have a couple of drinks or two then that’s fine if you can handle that, but performing under the influence of liquor or drug paraphernalia can alter some people’s personality or presence. Be as sober as possible so you don’t A. look sloppy and B. potentially get your lines crossed, or blurred in the words of Robin Thicke. You want to make sure you understand when you are giving or receiving consent, enjoying the moment and not becoming belligerent. As people who consider themselves non vanilla, you want to have control over the BDSM and kinky dynamic. It also makes you look sexier and in control. If you’re high as a kite, or drunk as a sailor slurring your words, talking incoherently and appearing out of control you don’t come off as someone I want to have sex with. If you have a lack of control with yourself what makes me think you’ll have control with me and my body?

4. Don’t Go With Expectations

Sure, it may be a play party but that doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to have sex. Just go with the intentions of having fun and potentially exploring or seeing something new. Putting expectations on access to other peoples bodies is insanely wild. Even if you converse with someone at the party, get them a drink, or seem to be catching a vibe, it still does not mean that this is a green light. And if you and the person or people you have your eyes on seem to have naturally flowing conversation or catch an eye it may not be this party that you all have sex but it could be an opportunity at a future event. Sometimes people want to feel you out. If this is your first event you may come off super eager and ready to jump in something compared to the more seasoned which makes you an obvious newbie. It’s okay to get your feet wet. Hell, it’s even okay to get your dick or pussy wet but go to enjoy the atmosphere because it truly is an experience.

5. Participate!

If there are demonstrations, games, or other interactive activities before the play gets started, engage in them! Don’t be the weird person standing off in the corner just watching everyone with a blank look. You will appear standoffish and it’s way more fun to be a part of the festivities. Make new memories and don’t be so damn vanilla. Unless it’s your first time, then you get a pass.

How Do I Find These Types Of Parties?

Explore and navigate play parties in your area. One way to find play parties nearby is an online site called Fetlife. My boyfriend likes to call Fetlife “A kinky Facebook” and if you think about it, it is! Except Mark isn’t there to land you in Facebook jail or eventually take your pics/videos/or posts down. You can post status updates, upload explicit pics and videos, post writings (that is especially nice for erotic poets and story writers!), Post a kinky event of your own, organize kinky groups for people to find and join (i.e. Threesomes in St. Louis; yes that is a real group where you can search and set up a threesome with real people near you), there’s truly a mindblowing amount of things to explore and navigate on this site. Here’s some homework for you. After you sign up and complete your profile, go and search for an event. Click on the menu button in the top left corner and it should prompt you to put in your city and state. Once you plug in that information, prepare for pages upon pages of events you may not have even known were taking place in your city! The kinky ones of course. Unless you are a seasoned veteran in this lifestyle, then you probably have your own way of hearing about the local scene events without using Fetlife. Unfortunately there’s no app for it but it’s worth clicking on your internet browser and signing in. Another website called, Kasidie, has parties, events, trips for people to go on in and outside of the United States, and a lot more! The two sites are very similar and you can find tons of freaky fun all across the globe. These two sites are gold and they’re completely FREE! For those of you in the Saint Louis area and if you’re a person of color, check out me and my kinky partners events! Look up Black Pineapple on Facebook and Fetlife and follow us for upcoming events and meetups in the area! If you use any of these questions or tips above, I would LOVE to hear about your experience in the comments.

“What Life Would Be Like If Eve Didn’t Bite The Apple - A Nudist Resort Experience”

According to the good book once Eve, one of our progenitor’s, ate the forbidden fruit, she and her husband were made aware of their nakedness. There were no negative connotations attached to being naked prior to this happening and most importantly everyone felt free. We come into this world naked, and from that moment on we are demanded to put clothes on but there are some places in this world where you can still live as if you’re in the garden of Eden without shame, judgment, or being sexually harassed.

Recently myself, my significant other, and a couple of our friends visited an AANR, American Association For Nude Recreation. This particular nudist Resort is located in Missouri which happens to be the state where we currently reside. Automatically, When we hear that there will be an environment where everyone is naked, our brains autopilot to thinking something sexual will take place or some big orgy will happen. Being nude doesn’t always equate to sex and that was one of the biggest lessons this experience taught me.

What is the purpose of nudist resorts?

Naturists/Nudists promote and enjoy wholesome nude recreational activities. In layman's terms, people do regular degular shit, but they’re naked. With that being said, just because you see individuals lounging around in their birthday suit doesn’t mean there’s someone getting a piece of the cake. As a matter of fact, some if not all nudist resorts have a set rule that sexual acts on resort grounds are prohibited and you will be asked to leave the premises if you’re caught. The environment of the park is not sexualized at all and the only people who make it out to be that way are typically the one’s who have never been. Naturists just simply enjoy every day activities and It erases the looking for an outfit factor. I think most of us can subscribe to that.

Is It Nudist or Naturist?

Nudist v. Naturist. Which one is it really? The answer is both. Some people prefer to be described or addressed as a naturist over a nudist and there’s really nothing more to it.

How I Found FAC

In June of 2023, I was about to google something and an article title caught my eye regarding a nude swimming pool in Missouri. I was shocked! I had no idea about it and I like to stay in the know and support all things sex or body positive. Initially I thought it was click bait but it turned out to be a legit place known as FAC (Forty Acres Club).

Apparently back in the 1950’s a group of couples from St. Louis were looking for a place to enjoy some sun to kiss their skin and a place that was out of the way. They discovered 40 acres of land in Franklin County, MO and they utilized their weekends creating campsites to stay overnight and a common area for the couples to meet up as a group and socialize.

70+ years later 40 acres has expanded into 80 acres and includes a swimming pool (on Saturday’s there are water volleyball games held), a jacuzzi, mini golf course, wooded hiking trails, a pool table, Wii gaming system, pickleball courts with lighting for night time play, horseshoe pits, dart pavilion, petanque court (some shit I never heard of until then), A community building to watch t.v., play board games (there are some provided or you can bring your own), a ping pong table and more! Yes I said more.

Word play is very important for our brains so when people hear the word resort they automatically think beaches, sand, and palm trees but this is in Missouri people so let’s get that imagery out of our heads. Going forward for reading purposes we will call this place a naturist/nudist outdoor park.

My First Experience At A Naturist Park

As previously stated the park is located in Franklin county, MO which is an hour away from St. Louis so the drive wasn’t too bad. We left out at 11 a.m. and arrived at Noon. Don’t let your mind start to trick you on the drive up because as you get closer to the park, there are many right and left turns, and it starts to feel like you’re going to end up in the boonies on a farm. Your brain will start to think “Maybe this GPS is wrong because ain’t no m’fuckin way it’s anything for me to enjoy out this deep in the middle of no where” but I promise your GPS knows what it’s talking about. Trust it and continue. Upon arrival you turn onto a gravel road rolling over all these tiny little rocks and then you’re stopped at a gate. The indication that you are in the right place is a sign next to the gate that says “Welcome to Forty Acres Club” with the letters AANR association underneath and to the left of you is a buzzer system with a sign that reads “The buzzer is currently broken, please call 636…..” followed by the number. My anxiety was through the fucking roof at this point because we’re in what feels like the middle of nowhere and now we have to call to get into this place. Looking back in retrospect I really appreciate the privacy and security of the resort ensuring no one can just drive up. So I called and said “Hi! I’m here outside of the gate looking to visit with my partner” and the voice on the other side of the phone says “Alrighty! Well come on up to the office and we’ll be waiting for you” a few seconds later the gate slides on over and we are able to drive through.

Once we drove past the gate, to to the left of us was what I found out later, one of the leasing spaces for those who come with their RV’s and stay overnight or longer. To our right was a house and I thought “Does someone live over here?” Man was I in for a surprise. As we drove up a little bit more we noticed the little blue building with a sign that read “The Office” so we knew we were going in the right direction. As we pull up to the office there is a couple unpacking some things out of their RV and they’re 100% naked. At this point I’m like “Oh fuck! We really ‘bout to do this” meanwhile my boyfriend is over the roof excited like “Okay! We really ‘bout to do this m’fucka!” and I have to have a pep talk with myself to relax a little because clearly this m’fucka is more excited than I am and I need to match his energy.

We got out of the car after we parked to step inside of the office and meet the gentlemen who greeted us over the phone. Funny thing is, typically you feel out of place if you’re under-dressed in an environment where people have on clothes. I felt out of place because the people around us that we had seen so far were naked and we had on clothes. The gentleman whom I spoke with is one of the board of directors and has been a member for about 5 years. As soon as we walked inside I noticed he was shirtless and as I got closer to the desk I noticed he had his whole dick and balls out! This man was completely naked. It was trippy as fuck for sure but I also thought to myself “Alright! There ain’t no turning back now, this what we doing”

When you check in for the first time, whether you stay overnight or just visit for the day, you do need to provide an unexpired drivers license so your identity can be verified and a background check can be run. The rest of your visits you won’t need to provide your driver's license because you will already be in the system. After passing the background check, assuming you will, you will be presented with a paper about the rules and regulations of the resort, asked to sign agreeing that you understand, and then you pay. For couples you pay one price, not per person so we paid a total of $36.00!!!!! Fun fact about this price, we were told that we got a “youth discount” There aren’t any senior citizen discounts but because they don’t get very many young people we got a whole ass discount. That was funny! We paid 4 or 5 bucks cheaper than what our friends paid and what we were expecting to pay. I was shocked but we definitely didn’t argue about it. When our friends finished their process the wife of the gentleman who checked us in told us that she was going to take us on a tour of the resort/park after we got undressed. She also let us know that phones are to stay inside of the car because pictures and videos are not allowed at the park. An exception was made for us to keep our phones inside of our bags, as long as they were not visible, especially for photograph purposes. Another specified rule was that this is NOT a clothing optional park but a nudist one so you need to be entirely naked!

We got to the car and my boyfriend opened up the car doors so we could grab our bag with our personal items. I had him remove my dress and initially it was a funny feeling because we’ve only done this in the bedroom but here we are out in butt fuck Missouri letting it all hang out in broad daylight. Shit was mad wild at first but then once my dress came off it was totally fine. Nobody came out of the woodworks and was like “Ohhhhhh shit! She naked!” It was nothing. It was….normal. Once bae got fully undressed we put sunscreen and bug spray on. I aint want a single mosquito bite on my ass or coochie! Nowhere really but especially not my golden areas. Imagine me about to get hit from the back and it’s a big mosquito bite on my ass or even worse one on my labia and I'm sitting there scratching. It’s a no for me honey. The ambassador’s name who showed us around was Melissa. Ms. Melissa was very friendly and she told us to bring a towel. “Bring your towels everywhere you go so you can sit on them. We don’t want you sitting on anything bare” Shit that was respected and I was gonna do that anyway so my bare vagina wasn’t sitting on the ground, chairs, etc. We did two separate tours because only 4 people could fit on the golf cart where we would be sitting for tour purposes so the other couple stayed back to get undressed.

First, she showed us how to get out when we’re ready to leave so that if no one was around we didn’t feel as if we were being held hostage. I appreciated that. Then we went on to see the leasing spaces with the Rv’s and it was explained to us that those people basically live here in their RV and pay to lease that space. There are water and electric hook ups for those sites. We then spun around and turned onto another gravel road behind the office and I saw what looked like houses/cabins. They were more living spaces where members only pay $1,000 a year to live!!!!! And if you don’t pay it all at once you can pay 5 payments of $200 throughout the year. Some people pay that shit in a month for an apartment. I was mind blown. They weren’t the fanciest of houses but they were full blown on living spaces for dirt cheap and you can just walk outside and be naked.

Once we surpassed the cabin like homes we were shown the salt water swimming pool where most of the community hangs out, the petanque court, and the tennis/pickleball court. If guests or members want to go for a night swim or enjoy a night time game of tennis there’s lights to surround the area. Over to the right there were more houses that people lived in! And we saw the entryway to the wooded hiking trail. I saw a man casually walk out of his house, down the front lawn, and towards the pool butt ass naked. That must be the fucking life to just wake up, do your hygiene, and go!

Next door to the swimming pool there was a community building where dinners are held for the members that live there and the ones who are visiting, a 50 inch tv, a wii gaming system, a bunch of games, a pool table, and a couple more things to entertain guests including a patio area! When we left out of the clubhouse there was an older gentleman on a golf cart smoking a doobie next to his wife. That was pretty cool. While we are here I want to give the disclaimer that you do need to check with the park’s ambassadors and members to see about smoking. I’m not sure if it’s the same policy for visitors v. members so always ask. Better to be safe than sorry. Next to the patio was a hangout spot known as “The hawg pit” and in the winter time it is enclosed with a screen and heaters to keep everyone warm. Ms. Melissa informed us that on Saturdays and certain Sundays there is food is for sale in case you get hungry. On the menu includes but is not limited too the following: Cheeseburgers, hot dogs, chicken etc. Not too far from the hawg pit is a small building that is essentially a kitchen. It has a microwave, refrigerator and there is water inside for sale. They have an honesty system where you just put your dollar inside of the cup as payment and grab your water bottle. There’s also an ice cream freezer you can grab ice cream out of and ice bags for sale if you need to throw some in the cooler! Feel free to throw some liquor in your cooler also because there’s none for sale on site of the park. On the backside of the community building were outdoor showers. Yes you read that right, outdoor showers and it was amazing! But I’ll get to that later on. On the other side of the outdoor showers were 4 restrooms. As we continued our tour there were even more homes that people lived in. We saw a friendly old lady sitting in her wheelchair butt ass naked with a cast on her leg. She was happy to see people rolling by, she waved and gave the most comforting old lady smile. It was cute! There were tent spaces for guests/visitors who wanted to pitch a tent and stay overnight. 8 of them to be exact. 2 of them have electric hook ups and all of them have water. And in the middle of the hiking trail there were more spaces to congregate and enjoy nature. Surprisingly what blew my mind the most was not the fact that we were all nude but how many people lived out here! These people just decided to pack their shit up one day and be like “Yeah I wanna live at a naturist park” I think everyone should unlock that level of freedom at least once in their life. These were all older people of course so I didn’t see younger people with families but these people are definitely enjoying their latter years.

Speaking of families these types of resorts/parks are considered family friendly so children are allowed. I wouldn’t want anyone to be caught off guard if they see a naked child and think to call the police on these people thinking it’s some other shit going on. Now if you see any signs that a child is in danger and something is off follow your gut but a regular bubbly kid running around is authorized in these environments. However, we didn’t see any children during our trip so the information above is for your own personal knowledge of course.

Before our tour was over the ambassador made it very clear that if anyone made us feel uncomfortable come and let her, her husband or any other member know. She also reassured us that they don’t have issues like that, she just wanted to let us know that if we ever felt out of place we could voice it and that certain behaviors are not tolerated. The tour concluded and we waited in the car for our friends to finish theirs.

We were only there for about 30-45 minutes at that point but whatever worries, doubts, or preconceived notions we had all went away. Everyone we encountered or drove past on the tour waved with warm smiles, spoke to us, was very welcoming, it was just amazing honestly to feel so free and welcomed. We were the youngest couple there, our skin color was different, yet none of that mattered. We were all enjoying this atmosphere together and basking in freedom. No one cared about the rolls you have on your back, or that your dick wasn’t on hard and at mandingo status, nobody cared that this person’s boobs may have been bigger than another’s or this person’s butt wasn’t the same size as the next. It was so carefree and just…..FREE! I mean sure you’re titties may be out but when we are having conversation it flows as it does when we have clothes on. I’m not staring you down and vice versa.

After our friends concluded their tour we headed over to shower before getting in the pool. I know right, we washed all that sunscreen and bug spray off because we didn’t wait to apply it after our showers like big dummies. Prior to me coming I thought that all of the showers and bathrooms would have these old dirty gym locker room looks and smells because the establishment is older but it was not that! The bathrooms and shower areas were nice and clean. I was happy about that because chile, I can’t do no dirty bathrooms, or areas in general. Now it’s no 5 star resort and you can tell that this place came together in the 1950’s based off of the old wallpaper on the inside but we spent most of our time outdoors anyway. And when a place is clean and functions well, It doesn’t always matter. We utilized the outdoor showers and my God it was amazing!!! There were 4 shower heads next to each other, each with their own shower caddy hanging over with some soap in case you forgot your own. Even though it was a good 90 degrees outside we still turned our water on warm/hot temperatures and showered together like it was nobody’s business because in actuality…it wasn’t. I’ve showered together with my partner but not outdoors in the open. This was different. This was a new level of intimacy unlocked for both of us. We were all just showering, washing up and talking like we do this on the daily. The showering together part, not the showering in general because that part we do okayyyyy! Now the next part was liberating as hell because typically when you’re done showering at home you dry yourself off with a towel, wrap yourself up and head to your bedroom to get moisturized and dressed. Baaabbbyyy we finished our showers, put up our soap and washcloths and headed straight to the pool! It felt so good to turn the shower off and just walk off into the sun, bodies dripping with water all while the sun kissed our skin. Now THAT is next level!!

Outside of the pool gate is a sign that says “Nude beyond this point” or “Nude only” either way, you get the drift and there’s no need to worry about what bathing suit you’ll wear to this pool. The pool area has a shower inside as well so that if you’re going from the salt water pool to the jacuzzi you don’t mix the chemicals from the pool into the hot tub. Or if you’re just heading out of the pool for the day you can shower and head off to the tennis court, hiking trail, or wherever your next destination may be.

Right next to the shower is a couple of bins with floaties and noodles. The pool is no more than 6 feet deep and the temperature was perfect upon entry. It wasn’t like your usual pool environment, aside from the obvious fact that everyone was naked. It wasn’t loud, no kids were running around, no one was noisy, there was no music, it was just……..calm. Men floated and swam and they’re dicks floated right above the water. Women were in the pool using their titties as floaties and it was just relaxing. Several couples were off to the side sitting or tanning on pool chairs, one man was reading a book, me, my significant other, and our friends were just talking about our goals and speaking with members of the park. Almost everyone welcomed us and asked if this was our first time. They made us feel like we belonged and almost everyone had the same experience. They came out to visit years ago and and have been coming back ever since.

After a few hours in the pool me and my boyfriend went to shower together again. We decided afterwards that we were going to lay out on the pool chairs. I tried laying in the sun so my buns could catch some sunrays from above but my thoughts about getting skin cancer and feeling like an oven baked raisin wouldn’t let me do that shit too much longer so I took my ass in the shade honey. After about 20 relaxing minutes in the shade I rolled over on my back, put my feet together, and had my whooooollle coochie out!! It felt good!! It felt liberating! In that moment so much energy radiated through my body and I felt some sort of kinetic supercharge. Could have been super powers, or it could have been rays from the peek of sun coming through the trees but I will go with the superpower theory for now. I felt such a sense of serenity that I’ve felt only a few other times in my life. I didn’t have to swat away many bugs, the air quality was better and my allergies weren’t acting up, I felt secure laying next to my man and it felt like we were at home. Our phones didn’t matter, social media was nonexistent, it was just us vs. the present moment. I would classify it as a bonding moment and new heights for our relationship for sure. I’ve never done anything like this before and neither has my boyfriend so it was a great first time experience for us both.

We didn’t get to the hiking trails or anything else that day. It was something so damn peaceful about that pool and the aura around it, that’s all we could enjoy.

Dinner was decided upon so we grabbed our bags. Our final victory lap for the day was to the car and we debated on driving home naked. It was definitely a certain part of the day where it was challenging for me and my man to see each other naked and not have sex because that’s the only time we see each other that way aside from the 5 minutes after we get out of the shower but our clothes go right on. That was the teachable moment for me when we rechanneled that sexual energy while being naked. We ended up getting dressed and drove to the restaurant where we would have dinner and it’s safe to say we will be going back and becoming members.

What Does Becoming A Member Look Like?

If you want to try out the naturist park prior to joining you get 3 visits, if you want to continue visiting after your third one, you will need to become a member of AANR at that point. Something else we learned during our visit is that one visit could be over the course of one week. So for example, if you visit for the entire weekend Friday-Sunday that’s classified as one visit. Even if you don’t stay overnight and you leave to come back to the park the following day.

First, you get your AANR member card. Secondly, As a member you get member access to all adult nudist resorts in the United States totaling up to 46 different states/provinces not to mention there are some out of the country! Some resorts are newer so you may be more aesthetically pleased than you would at some of the older ones but honestly you spend most of the time outdoors and it’s such a nice relaxing vibe. Not only do you gain access to the resorts but so does your guests and family members at discounted rates, you get to exercise the use of leasing spaces whether it’s one of the homes I talked about earlier or RV spaces as well as several other exclusive perks.

Also, the parks are open year round to members only but to visitors it’s available April-September or October-ish. Check with your local AANR organization to see what months are open to non members. There is a link below to their website to find the necessary information. When it gets cold, don’t worry because there’s a wood fire pit and chairs to gather around outside of the community building. Feel free to make smores, grilled hot dogs, or just snuggle around the campfire. It’s also a good thing to know that just because you are a member does not mean you have to live at the resort/park. You can visit every weekend if you want, make it your summer home, the choice is yours regarding the frequency of visits!

The couples membership price at Forty Acres Club is only $850.00 USD! That’s NOT per person, that's per COUPLE! You also don’t have to pay it at once, you can make separate payments. The events and dances that are held in the community building are available to visitors and members, group dinners are eaten together and more.

It’s like your own little community or world of people who embrace the way we came into this world!

The Best Parts

• I feel it’s only right to give honorable mentions to the cleanliness of the resort! Nothing was dirty and that is something I’m thankful for.

• The friendliness of EVERYONE. Not a single bad vibe and that is always a bonus

• The privacy and security of the park. We were in our own little world beyond those gates

• The air quality. When you’re not around industrialized areas with a bunch of cars giving off pollution and other factors that give off carbon dioxide you can just breathe better.

• Enjoying the present and not worrying about “Oh let me get this picture or capture this for my story” You were forced to enjoy the moment and believe me it wasn’t hard at all.

• The members that live there really uphold the standards of the community and making sure everyone feels comfortable. You definitely get the vibe they won’t tolerate any unfriendly or perverted behavior and I love that!

  Nothing Was The Same

  I always felt I was a nudist at heart because of my disliking for clothes and having to put together outfits on the daily but AFTER the resort I DEFINITELY did not want to wear clothing!!! Taking a shower is not the same, getting in the pool won’t be the same. No experience I had at that park will be the same in the outside world. My advice…everyone should be comfortable in the skin they're in and try it at least once. Everyone deserves to feel that level of liberation.

  
  07/25/2023

  Forty Acres Club Website! AANR Club Locator

How To Ask Your Partner For A Threesome

One, Two, Three’s a charm! In some cases more than others. Maybe you and your partner both saw someone that you were attracted too and thought to invite them into your bedroom space. Maybe you spontaneously fell into the conversation about spicing things up in the bedroom. Regardless, how exactly do you have this conversation with your partner? I mean seriously. Here are some tips on how to ask your partner for someone to join your bedroom space

1. Know And Understand Your Partner

Prior to the conversation about a new potential bedroom buddy, you should already have some idea around your partners past relationship traumas, former sex experiences, and their sexual boundaries. If your partner has expressed to you that that they’ve had a bad experience with threesomes it may throw them off a bit that you would ask for one knowing their past. Have the conversation with them about what they enjoy in the bedroom, what they want to explore, and what are absolute deal breakers.

2. Ask Hypothetically

Okay so this next one may seem a little calculated but it could work! Plan some alone time with your partner for an indoor game night, picnic, or somewhere you will both be alone and uninterrupted. Get a stack of empty note cards and write out questions for you and your partner to ask one another. On one of the cards include the question “How would you feel about us having a threesome?”. This way the question won’t be singled out, or appear at random if you just come out the blue and ask your partner. Make sure the rest of the questions are kind of spicy and in alignment with this question so it’s not the outlier.

3. Take the BDSM Test And Share Your Results

BDSM, which stands for Bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism, may not directly tie into threesomes but it could be a segway into conversation exploring kinks and sexual interests that you and your partner might not have talked about before. Let’s say your partner ranks pretty highly as a voyeur on the bdsm test, someone who gets sexual gratification from watching others during sex or sex acts, which may prompt questions such as “How would you feel watching me have sex with you and someone else?” or “When you masturbate do you imagine me and you having sex? Or me having sex with someone else?” They may sound like silly questions to some, but to others its very intriguing and the conversation will naturally guide itself. Take the BDSM test today at bdsmtest.org

4. Discuss Porn Categories You Both Watch

You may be surprised that your partner goes to their search bar on their favorite porn site and watches threesomes but you’ll never know until you discuss it. Typically the type of porn someone watches aligns with their sexual desires. If they’ve never watched a threesome scene, maybe suggest that you watch a video together and discuss what feelings were aroused afterwards.

Communication Is Key

Notice how in every suggestion above I mentioned talking with your partner. Communication is vital when discussing new explorations and even if you’ve done this before, conversation still needs to be had for check in purposes to see how your partner is feeling.

My Partner Said Yes!

If you get a sounding yes to having a threesome then start to discuss what boundaries you all would have. Would you both remain friends with this individual? Are one on one sex acts prohibited after the threesome takes place? If you have a threesome with someone, is it going to be a one time thing with the same person? Or do you all want to explore new people each time? Start to think about what that would look like for your relationship and it’s also okay to just make this a one and done situation. Just because you agree to a threesome once doesn’t mean you all have to do them all the time. One important factor to remember is that this is solely for fun and to spice things up a bit so no one should be getting too attached, but on the other side of that token, you don’t have to treat the third party like a throw away or disrespect them just because the sex part is over.

If Your Partner Says No…

Maybe you’ve tried tips from this article or other suggestions from people you know and your partner still said no. That’s okay, do not force the situation. That can cause issues to the relationship and if there was even a glimpse of hope for the future you may have now tainted the experience by forcing the issue. Initially, your partner may so no, but once they marinate on it, maybe talk over it with close friends, and process the information they may come around. But if they do not, accept that your partner is not interested and discuss other fun ways to spice up your relationship.

Threesome No-No’s

I’m no relationship coach, or professional therapist but I do have a P.H.D. in common sense. If your partner has similar characteristics to the examples described below, I don’t recommend someone new be added to the bedroom mix.

• A cheating Partner who won’t stop cheating

• An abusive partner who puts you down

• Controlling

• Manipulative

• Narcissistic

A threesome is for couples who have a mutual interest in pleasing multiple people at once, have a healthy relationship, effectively communicate, and trust one another. This is not a magic solution or a fixer upper for toxic relationships. If your relationship has any kind of strain whether its emotional, physical, or financial that has you all not seeing eye to eye these days, you may want to resolve any residual issues before you add some more fuel to the fire.

If there are any other topics you would like advice upon regarding sex or body positivity, head over to the “contact us” page and send in an email!

07/22/2023

Way To Ask Someone To Join You And Your Partner For A Threesome

Asking someone to join you and your partner can be pretty out of the ordinary and wild! How do you ask someone, “Hey! do you want to have sex with me and my partner?” Some people get offended, some may laugh it off, some are just down right like “Ummmm….Did I just get asked for a threesome?” and simply don’t know how to process being asked this question, especially if they’ve never been asked before. You’re obviously in your head about this situation, hence why you’re here reading up on how to ask so let’s go where the wild things are and explore how to ask someone this question!

Talk With Your Partner

First things first, you and your partner need to have the conversation with one another to see how you both feel about threesomes. Are you all doing this because it’s a saving grace for your relationship? Or are you both in a healthy, loving, relationship and simply want to add a little spice? Hopefully your relationship looks like the second option. If this is a saving grace, you should not be considering a threesome, but getting your relationship in a better space instead. Discuss the boundaries with this potential threesome. What does your partner feel comfortable with you doing or not doing with this person? If that special move they do to you in the bedroom is not preferred on the bonus bedroom friend then it’s simple, that move is off limits. No oral? Got it! but you won’t know until you discuss it. If you get in the moment and things change with verbal consent then go for it, but see how talking about these things make you feel once you envision them. If there’s any hesitation or resistance at all be open and honest with your partner even if you said yes prior. Never force yourself into something you are not not 100% sure about. If you both have a sound yes, continue with the next steps.

Choose The DT

We’ve all heard of a DD, designated driver, when we go out drinking with our friends but a DT is the designated talker. Between you and your partner, who is the one who is most comfortable having uncomfortable conversations? This isn’t your every day question, you’re not asking someone what’s their favorite color. And let’s be honest, most people fear rejection. You’re already in a relationship with the person who is sure about you, so it may cause slight anxiety having to be put back in position of seeing if someone is interested in you. Have a conversation with your partner and determine who will be the one to ask.

Asking A Friend

If this is not a mutual friend between both you and your partner, the person who’s friend it is should be the one to ask. They’re most comfortable with this person and after all, you want your new bedroom friend to be comfortable. Here are some ways to ask your friend for a threesome:

• Take them to dinner - Not with your partner, you don’t want this to feel like an interrogation. Go out with your friend like you always do! If you take someone out for food, drinks, and conversation it may take the edge off. Go in with an open mind and be optimistic! Do a little planning and find something else to talk about in case they say no so you all aren’t sitting there with this awkward feeling trying to force down the rest of dinner and drinks.

• Write A Note - Okay so this one may be a little old school for some but it’s cute! Write your friend a letter, or type it if you’re afraid they will know your handwriting, from a secret admirer and hand it to them. Tell them that someone in you all’s circle wanted to anonymously give them this message. Make it cute and fun. Write what you and your partner admire about them and what drew both of you to them in the first place. After your friend reads the note, discuss how they feel about it and have a conversation about their thoughts regarding threesomes. That way if they’re like “Heck no! I don’t do threesomes” your cover isn’t blown.

• Have A Gathering At Your Place- Invite a few friends over for drinks, food, and games and play some adult games such as adult truth or dare, A sexy dance off, or any game that brings out the inner sexy. If someone isn’t interested in you, most of the time you can read the room and tell. Who knows, maybe that dance off could get a little steamy, leading you and your friend to share a different intimate space.

• Just Flat Out Ask - Okay enough of the games, and hints, maybe you’re a very direct person and that works as well. Asking over a phone call, via text, or in person all works too. The verbiage is totally up to you!

Asking Someone New

Maybe you and your partner are out at an event or gathering and someone catches both of you all’s attention. Or you’re at a lifestyle party and you haven’t quite become comfortable asking someone to join you and your partner just yet. Let’s explore what that looks like together

• Buy them a drink - Now I’m not saying that just because you buy someone a drink they owe you conversation, but it will make them curious as to who bought them a drink and why. If the setup is like the movies and the bartender drops the info on who bought the drink and eye contact is made, start with an introduction and go from there.

• Send A Message/DM - This is only for the inquiry. I don’t advise sending a message and then going straight into the bedroom without getting a feel for this person first. You won’t know if you and your partner can score if you don’t shoot the shot. Once you make the interest known, set up a meeting which leads me to the next point.

• Setup A Time To Hangout - Once you have spiked your new potential bedroom buddy’s interest, setup a time to grab drinks or food where you can sit down and talk. Either you or your partner needs to do the meetup, not both. You don’t want this new person to feel outnumbered or uncomfortable. They may not be able to focus on getting to know you if they can’t tell if they’re about to be kidnapped or interrogated. It doesn’t have to be formal like an official date, but you do want to get some type of vibe from this person. If you saw them online , do they really look like that in person? How is their hygiene? Is their phone blowing up from a suspected partner? Are there any signs of substance abuse? You can’t know everything from one meeting but you can gather enough information to know if you and your partner want to proceed. Maybe you met them at an event and it was noisy so you didn’t have a quiet place to talk and this is that time. Maybe the lights were dim and you realize that with the lights on, and a little less alcohol, you don’t like the way they look after all. Also, be transparent about the meeting and what made you want to hangout in the first place. You don’t want them thinking that you’re single and into them on a solo mission just to later spring onto them, “Hey I want you to join me and my partner in the bedroom later”. Or worse, they look you up on social media, see you’re public relationship and make you out to be a liar in their mind when it’s not like that. Go back and talk with your partner about the meetup and trust each other through the process if choosing to continue.

Tips & Pointers:

• Don’t be aggressive. If they say no, then that’s simply what it means.

• You may get rejected. The late singer, Aaliyah once said “And if at first, you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again.” If you get rejected, move through the feelings of rejections and go on. You won’t always get a yes and that’s with anything in life.

• Don’t be manipulative. When your partner gets home from work, don’t have someone new laying up in your home trying to force a threesome.

• Be very honest about the terms and boundaries of you and your partner’s relationship. If said person says yes, they need to understand that this is sex and nothing more unless all parties involved discuss otherwise. Whatever the terms of you and your partner are, they need to adhere too.

• If someone is flirting with you or your partner, unaware that you are both in a relationship with one another, once things start to get to a certain point and they let you know they’re interested, simply let them know how you and your partner operate. Saying something like “I can have sex with you, but me and my partner are a package deal and we do threesomes so if you want to have sex with me, this is what that would look like.” Their response will determine if you want to go forward or not. If they cannot respect your decision and continue to push for sex with you or your partner solo, that’s the signal to back off.

• You know your partner best. If their body language changes or they appear to be getting jealous, do not try to continue or force the issue. Speak to your partner’s feelings and make sure you are both on the same page. What most people don’t tell you about threesomes is the level of trust and communication that is needed between partners. It’s not always a one and done conversation, and sometimes it is. It depends on the dynamic of your relationship. If the conversation needs to be revisited daily and your partner’s feelings need to be reassured that may be a tall tale sign that they’re not 100% ready. It could also could just be curiosity. That is for you and your partner to work through but pay attention to them and don’t get so wrapped up in the excitement and fantasy that you overlook what’s right in front of you.

If there are any other topics you would like advice upon regarding sex or body positivity, head over to the “contact us” page and send in an email!

07/22/2023